Shattering the God's Within
Epilogue:  Daybreak

"Life is wounded.  Hear the cry of the children with AIDS.  Feel the
pang of the abused child who has found pain where there should have been
love.  Hear the screams of teenagers who seem to be saying that they
fear life more than death.  Listen to the weeping of disintegrating
families.  Hear the shouts of the politically oppressed.  Consider the
plight of the homeless.  Examine the increasing gap between the rich and
the poor.  In the human realm, as well the animal kingdom, the law of
the jungle prevails, with the strong preying upon the weak.  Look within
yourself, and feel the ceaseless wrestling between doing what you should
and succumbing to what you should not."

"The cross is the watershed of life.  It is the place where the battle
of love and fear, good and evil, life and death was fought  It is the
critical place where the Christ experienced our alienation from the
Father and cried, "My God, My God, why hast Thou forsaken Me?"  (Math
27:46).  We can surmise a little of the physical pain, but we are unable
to fathom the depth of sorrow and pathos involved in the alienation of
God the Father from His incarnate Son.  At that point Christ touches
every human being and personally takes on the alienation and separation
we all experience to some degree."

"The cross affects us all.  And in three key persons present at the
death of Christ we glimpse ourselves.  Let us look at the reactions of
Pilate, Peter and Judas."

The Conformity of Pontius Pilate
Caught between the angry crowds and his own conscience, Pilate was torn.
On a number of occasions he said that he found no fault in the Christ.
But Pilate worshipped the pseudo god of conformity.  When he tried to
let Christ go, the rulers threatened him saying "If you let this man go,
you are no friend of Caesar."

"Afraid to ruin his chances for promotion, Pilate, in defiance of his
conscience, delivered Jesus to be crucified.  Then, feeling guilty, he
engaged in an obsessive ritual of undoing--he washed his hands, saying,
"I am not guilty of the blood of this man."

"We all have a Pilate side to our personality.  Seeking to be fair and
just, we are often tempted to be codependent for power or political
advantage.  Instead of standing up for what we believe, we give in to
the powers that be in order to appease them.  But in the end we are
unfulfilled, guilty, and angry.  And try as we may to wash away or
forget our guilt, it contiues to plague our consciences.

The Fear of Peter
Peter is a well known figure.  Impetuous, stubborn and emotional, he
told our Lord he would stick with Him through anything.  But as soon as
he was identified as a follower of Jesus, he became afraid, then h id
his fear with anger and began to curse.  He protested vehemently that he
never knew the man.  He bowed down to the pseudo god of fear.
Foreseeing the violence that was about to destroy Jesus, he became
desperately afraid of what might happen to him."

"On one hand, Peter was committed to Christ, but on the other, he
yearned to protect himself from danger.  How many times have we thrown
away excellent ideas and opportunities because we feared the opinions of
others?  Although we are determined to be loyal, we betray our best
convictions for the sake of felling safe.  After denying Christ three
times, Peter recognized his betrayal and wept with remorse."

The Materialism of Judas
"Judas was another idolater, worshipping the pseudo god of materialism.
Having lived and worked with Christ, Judas was willing to sacrifice that
matchless relationship for thirty pieces of silver.  He disassociated
his heart from his commitment to Christ and was therefore able to sell
his Lord to His enemies.  When Judas realized what he had done, he
confessed betraying innocent blood and committed suicide."

"We have a Judas side to us.  How many of us are literally destroying
our lives for the sake of materialism?  In our quest for money, power,
and fame, we worship our careers, we sell our families, destroy our
vocation, and sacrifice our humanity.  Becoming rich materially, we
become poor, alienated, and dehumanized in spirit."

Looking Beyond the Cross
"The cross challenges our very essence.  How do we deal with the Pilate
side of us--our desire for conformity?  How do we deal with the Peter
side of us--our desire for safety?  How do we deal with the Judas side
of us--the desire for prosperity at any cost?"

"Fortunately, the cross is not the end.  Were life to stop at the
crucifixion, we would be miserable.  For then evil would conquer good,
hate would conquer love, and death would conquer life.  No, the
Resurrection is the greatest single event in history.  The Resurrection
is not an adjunct to the Christian faith; it is the faith.  As the
apostle Paul wrote "And if Christ has not been raised, your faith is
worthless, you are still in your sins.  Then those also who have fallen
asleep in Christ h have perished.  If we have hoped in Christ in this
life only, we are of all men most to be pitied (I Corin. 15:17-19)."

"Without the Resurrection, there would be no Christian church.  In fact
one of the major proofs of the Resurrection is the existence of the
early church.  At the crucifixion, the disciples were discouraged,
forlorn, and terrified.  Their hopes were dashed, their dreams
destroyed.  Two of them were walking to Emmaus and sadly commented, "We
were hoping that it was He who was going to redeem Israel" (Luke 24:21)
"But their spirits reflected their answer.  They believed they had been
mistaken."

"But in spite of the existence of the Christian church, what difference
does the Resurrection make?  What does it mean to us as wounded
individuals?

Good Has Overcome Evil
"After living an absolutely good life, Christ, the Word became flesh,
was mistreated and unjustly crucified.  Had he not risen, it would mean
that even the God-man was subject to the conquering power of corruption.
But His rising again verifies that good has overcome evil.  It means
that truth will ultimately win.  The oppressed will have eventual
justice, and those who stand for the good and the right will be
vindicated.  The Resurrection means we can struggle to live decently.
We can be transformed from the inside out.  We can courageously face the
pain and woundedness in our lives."

Love Is Stronger Than Hate
"In our modern world there is much to encourage us that people are
coming together.  Worldwide transportation and improved international
communication have allowed interaction between different nations.  Yet
there appears to be growing tension between the races, between the
sexes, and between the developed and developing world.  In fact many
ugly prejudices and hatreds seem to be resurfacing."

"The truth is, we all are prejudiced in some way or another.  Human
beings are continuously splitting off the unwanted, rejected parts of
ourselves and projecting them onto people we consider inadequate or
inferior.  In so doing we feel better about ourselves while scapegoating
others."

"On the cross Christ suffered the result of hatred and bitterness.  Had
there been no Resurrection, the forces of hatred and prejudice would be
invincible.  The Resurrection means that the power of love has conquered
them."

"In a similar sense, selfishness is used by the false self to protect
the wounded real self.  Without loving support during painful
experiences, the wounded self is repressed--it becomes the object of
self hatred.  So the false self, based on narcissism and illusion, is
developed to hide the woundedness.  However, when the false self comes
into contact with love from a real self, the false self melts away.
Love casts out fear.  No longer does the real self fear losing itself
because it has been found!"

"The cross is a statement about God's love.  His love abolishes our
self-hatred and brings forth our true self.  Christ said, "Whoever
wishes to save his life shall lose it."  (Mark 8:35).  He also said,
"Unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains by
itself alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit (John 12:24)."

"The cross means that we are loved, accepted, and forgiven.  Validating
that love, the Resurrection calls us to new life.  It empowers us to
love, for loving results from being loved."

The Resurrection Validates Forgiveness
"Toward the end of his career, Freud wrote, "Guilt (is) the most
important problem in the development of civilization and . . . the price
we pay for our advance in civilization is a loss of happiness through
the heightening of the sense of guilt."
"Since our sense of guilt is so pervasive, much of our lives are spent
seeking to compensate or atone for it.  This may take the form of
self-destructive or punishing acts or some type of penance.  There is a
gap between our own moral standards and our behavior, and there is
another gap between God's standards and ours."

"Caught in the vortex between wishing to do good and not being able to
achieve it, there is a restlessness in our soul.  This restlessness and
ambivalence lead to alienation from ourselves, from our community, but
most important, from the God.  Separation from God, the life force and
giver of all good things, is anti-life, and is in fact death itself."

"The cross means that God, loving us, has forgiven us.  It means that
His holy Son, Christ Jesus, identifies with our alienation and became
the perfect sacrifice for our failure to meet the ideal of a moral
universe.  Validating Christ's sacrifice, the Resurrection makes Him the
victor over alienation and death."

The Resurrection Means Life has Conquered Death
"Death is a terrible taskmaster.  In fact, all psychopathology may be
seen as a defense against death.  Death makes life absurd.  All our
strivings and struggles come to naught.  Death makes us helpless and
mocks all our achievements."  Jesus died and He rose again:  this is the
victory of all victories.  It means that there is no ultimate despair.
All life has hope.  Because He lives, we can live also."

What the Resurrection Meant to Mary
"Nowhere is the meaning and witness of the Resurrection more clearly
expressed than in the experience of Mary Magdalene as recorded in John
20:1-18.  We know that she was a woman of ill repute and destructive
living.  Before meeting Christ, her life had lost all sense of the true,
the beautiful, and the good.  She was a woman at war with herself.  Like
some of the female crack cocaine addicts I have seen, her sense of
self-respect and reputation had been totally shattered."
"But then Mary met Jesus and was liberated from the web of her
self-destruction.  Her destructive false self was exorcised, setting
free her real wounded self.  After being controlled for years by
treacherous forces and pseudo gods, she fund her own personhood in a
relationship with Jesus.  In knowing Him, she found true freedom, love
and hope.  In her story we see the meaning of the Resurrection and the
movement from wounds to worship."

SHE WAS COMMITTED.  Mary Magdalene remained at the cross during the
crucifixion, braving the taunts of the soldiers.  Unlike Peter, Pilate,
and Judas, she was no fair-weather friend.  She lived her convictions.
Her love was real, and no price, no danger, no opposition would deter
her.  As a result, she was extremely committed."  "Mary's heart was
fixed on Jesus her Lord.  Her mind was only on Jesus.  Our ability to
grasp the meaning of the Resurrection in our own lives depends on our
commitment to our Lord.  ***There can be no healing of the heart without
commitment.***""

SHE HAD A SENSE OF COMMUNITY.  She was not a loner.  She shared her
experience at the tomb with her group of friends.  We cannot go it
alone.  Community supports us.  Most of all, it is through community
that we find guidance in knowing the will of God."

"The meaning of the Resurrection enhances community.  Community involves
exposing each other to our vulnerabilities and woundedness, but such
exposure can be revolting unless there is a sense of grace,
understanding, and forgiveness.  How can black and white get together?
How can male and female have long-term relationships?  Such unions can
only succeed if there is a base for mutual forgiveness and love."

SHE LOOKED THROUGH THE EYES OF LOVE.  It is interesting to note that
John and Mary Magdalene were the first to believe in the Resurrection.
These two people were extremely close to Jesus and loved Him dearly.
Both of them remained at the cross during the crucifixion, risking their
lives to be with the One they loved.  They were rewarded with the first
glimpse of the Resurrection."

"Love enables us to develop the eyes of the heart.  More than seeing a
person physically, the eyes of the heart allow us to know him or her
intimately.  It is difficult to interpret the thought of another without
relationship.  The relationship provides an empathic connection,
allowing us to know the mind and thought of the person.  Because Mary
and John loved Jesus, they had an inside track on the interpretation of
the meaning of His life, death, and resurrection."

"In a similar sense, the life of faith flows out of our relationship
with God.  Being still, quieting ourselves, and developing inner silence
leads to knowing God.  That means loving god and enjoying Him in the
midst of life's woundedness."

SHE LEARNED THE IMPORTANCE OF SCRIPTURE.  As the disciples were impeded
in their ability to see the reality of the Resurrection because they did
not believe the Scripture, so we too live in ignorance and fear because
we do not take seriously the discipline of studying and understanding
and obeying His Word.  Clearly the Word of God is not optional to the
spiritual life; it is an essential building block.  For God who has
revealed Himself in His Son has also revealed Himself in His Word.  As
Jesus said "Heaven and earth will pass away, but My words will not pass
away. (Mark 13:31)."

SHE HAD PERSISTENCE.  Seeing the tomb was empty the disciples went home.
"Home is a place of rest, a place where we are sheltered.  It is the
familiar, and sometimes we live in the prison of the familiar.  It may
seem strange that the disciples went home when faced with the most
shattering event in history.  But new happenings can have that effect on
us."

"Afraid, unsure, apprehensive, we drift toward the known.  How many of
us have lost great opportunities or have even turned away from potential
greatness because we were unable to leave the prison of the familiar?"
Home sweet home it may well be, but it may also destroy ambition, reduce
risk, and encourage a triumphant mediocrity."

"The disciples' motive for going home may have been mixed.  Since the
body of Jesus was missing, they might have feared being blamed and
persecuted.  Or h home may have been a meeting place; they may h have
gone back to let others know what was happening.  We do not know."

"What we do know is that Mary persisted.  She stayed at the tomb.
Persistence enhances faith, and vice versa.  In fact, many times faith
just means "keep on keeping on", "standing firm," or "holding on".  As
exemplified by Mary, faith means risking to persist when others leave
us, when our pseudo gods are gone and we are left alone with God."

SHE WAS BLESSED IN HER MOURNING.  "Mary not only persisted in staying by
the tomb---she stood there weeping.  As she wept, she kept looking into
the tomb.  She mourned for her Lord.  She missed Him.  She wanted to be
with Him.  Mourning means crying in our heart for those we love.  We are
promised that if we seek Him, we shall find Him.  And we are told that
those who mourn will be comforted."

"Sure enough as Mary mourned she saw the vision of angels.  They asked
her why she was weeping.  She replied "Because they have taken away my
Lord, and I do not know where they have laid Him (John 20:13)."

"******Persistence, faith, and intensely desiring or mourning for God
leads to sight.*****"  "Moses saw the burning bush.  And the bush still
burns, but only those who have eyes can see it."

"Mary focused on the tomb, unaware of the person standing behind her.
The pain of death can be so powerful that the grave becomes our major
focus.  As Mary turned, she saw a man who asked her, "Why are you
weeping?  Whom are you seeking?"  These are poignant questions.
****Christ confronts the motivation of our heart****.  Questioning us
about our ***feelings***, He also challenges us about who or what we are
seeking.

"Seeking God sometimes means feeling His absence.  How often do we cry
because of the absence of God?  Yearning for Him verifies our
relationship with Him.  After all, how can we miss someone we have never
known?"

SHE COULDN"T BELIEVE HER EYES.  "Mary saw a man whom she supposed to be
the gardener."
"In cognitive development, according to Piaget, a little child develops
a schema for new experiences.  When h e sees a dog for the first time,
he develops a schema in his brain for dog.  It is an animal with a
pointed head, four legs, and a tail.  A little later the child sees a
cow.  The cow has a pointed head, four legs, and a tail.  So the child
says, "Ah, big dog!"  He fits the cow into the existing dog schema.  For
the child to develop, he needs to develop a new schema or the cow.

"Adults are similar.  Seeing am an in the graveyard, Mary supposed him
to be the gardener.  Yet it was Jesus.  How many times has He appeared
to us, and instead of developing a new schema have we compressed Him
into an existing schema in our heart?"  And we've missed Him.  "That was
only my neighbor, only a friend, only the pastor, only my wife, only my
husband, only my child.  Only a coincidence."  But the Christ always
comes---in the home, in the earthquake, in the illness, in the hurt, in
the poverty, He always comes."

SHE HEARD HIM CALL HER BY NAME.  Jesus called Mary by her name.  How
touching this is.  Faith has some common components, but above all it is
personal.  It is being called by one's own name.  Each one of us is
unique.  We all have our own strengths, issues, and vocation.  We have
been called to be a missionary to our own life.  But many of us, lacking
a clear identity, are reticent about our personal call.  We feel as if
we are nothing but a face in the crowd.  We look to someone else to
validate our experience.  Some of us are so codependent that we don't
even know our own name."

"Jesus loved Mary.  She was His disciple.  She sought Him.  She stuck by
Him.  She was faithful and true to Him.  He knew her personally, and He
called her name.  He revealed Himself to her."

"Hearing her name and feeling the love of God.  Mary recognized Him and
replied, "Rabboni," which means teacher or master.  How amazing to think
that the risen Christ was first revealed to an outcast, a woman with
nothing.  Yet her experience of celebration is intimately connected to
her willingness to stay at the cross, to persist at the tomb, and to
mourn for Him."

"We cannot expect the mountaintop experiences of faith without the
valleys of commitment, persistence, and mourning."

SHE WAS SENT.  "Go and tell." "Ecstatic, Mary clung to Jesus.  She
wanted to stay with Him forever.  But Jesus told her "Go to My brethern
and say to them, "I ascend to My Father and your Father, and My God and
yur God (John 20:17)"

"The joy of knowing Christ is not to exhaust Him with our emotion, but
to allow Him to guide us into His service.  He sends us to go and create
community.  Go to the hungry.  Go to the hurting.  Go to the imprisoned.
Go to the oppressed. Let them know Jesus lives.  Tell them, because of
the Resurrection, that there is love and there is hope."

"Mary Magdalene was an ordinary woman who had spent much of her life in
disgrace.  She who had been helplessly addicted to her pseudo gods
miraculously fund her way to God, to the cross, and ultimately to the
tomb, in the darkness of that first Easter morning.  She was the one God
chose to announce His Son's resurrection to a broken world."

"She announced it, first of al, to her own life.  Then she told her
community.  Finally, she brings the message of the Resurrection you and
me."  

"And so the witness of Mary Magdalene continues to touch the lives of
people throughout time, history, and in different parts of the world.
Yes, it is daybreak.  He is risen.  He is risen indeed.

	"Oh death where is thy sting?
	"Oh grave where is they victory?"

Well, this is the end of this most fascinating book looking at how we
develop pseudo gods in our lives and how we can prevent them from
developing.  The subtly by which pseudo gods are manifest in our lives
is pervasive.  It does take consistent monitoring and digging deep into
our hearts to see that indeed we do have tendencies to protect against
pain, to keep our egos intact.  This is the battle we are in, tearing
down the ego.  Giving up the self.  A truly selfless person will be
letting go of ego in every situation and circumstance.  For ego is self
and we must die to our egos and let Jesus truly and in reality live in
us!  Only then can we submit to one another in love.