Sunday, March 21

If it wasn't for this journal, I wouldn't know what day it is. It's 9:20 P.M.. The government decides to shut off the electricity around here for whatever reason, any time, day or evening. The power has gone off on a daily basis for anywhere from five minutes to five hours. This seems to happen several times a day. It is irritating but an accepted part of life for everyone except me. It makes me upset. I understand that it is to save power, but I am used to better electric service. I took part of the day off to be alone today. I read and laid in the sun on the roof awhile with my short sleeves and pant legs up to my knees. How sinful. Rabia snuck up to see me. She was quite shocked to see my skin. "Your legs, white!" She told me. I laughed as she reached out to touch them. She told everyone later that evening that she saw my legs and how white my skin was. They all laughed at her story about seeing my white skin. They never wear short sleeves or pants, so seeing skin, never mind such white skin, is not a common site. Azim spent most of the day alone with me today. It was nice. He spends every minute with family and friends, so I rather enjoyed him today. We talked about how I was feeling being here, and how he was doing with everything. It was a nice break from the crowds of people we have around us all the time. We took a nap together in the afternoon and it was relaxing. I told him I felt like a queen with all the attention I was getting.

Happy, is Azim's friend and neighbor. He owns a wire factory. He employs 10 or so people to stretch wire on hand made machines to sell for electronics. Some of the workers are only 10 or 12 yrs. old and work 12 hours a day from 7am to 7pm for a grand total of 500 rupees, or about $10.00 a month. It is a small factory business with three or four rooms. The machines and the process were fascinating. He took us through and we watched the wires going along the pulleys and through the oil baths slowly being stretched to the different sizes, then wound up neatly on rolls for shipping. The machines were fairly simple and seemed to do the job well. I asked about the work day for the employees and Happy told me that he treated them better than most places. They got a break for a coke, and I said hello to some of them. I was concerned for the ages of the boys working and was told that if it weren't for these boys, doing this instead of being in school, their family might not eat. I understood that that might be the way it has to be as sad as it was for those children. The factory was on the edge of Lahore city. Beyond the city I saw a small river and then what seemed to be massive farmlands. I also saw a lot of tree type framed huts covered in different kinds of cloth, sewn together to keep out the rain. I was told that they were the homes of many of the workers in the area. Happy had several on his factory property. He told me his employees lived there. They live in hut camps, with no facilities. There seems to be mostly poor people here. As we were leaving I noticed many more huts lining the streets all along the edge of the city. Some had cots outside and I saw men laying in them with a woman, their wife or daughter perhaps, going through their hair in search of lice or whatever else might be in there. Happy took us on a tour of many of the sights of Lahore. We saw the Mosques and the Old City gates. We saw colleges, stadiums, the train station, Pizza Hut and McDonald's. We went to an arcade and they played a few games. I saw a lot of Police. Azim told me they are all crooked. They detain people for stupid reasons, demand money and let them go. I witnessed this myself while we sat in an open restaurant. Some boys were stopped in a car and sure enough, they gave the police money and went on their way while we were waiting for our dinner. We ordered chicken and that's all we got, with Naan bread. No Veggies?? Dinner for all, was $5.00. When we left, I wanted to see the American Consulate but the men outside were Pakistani with guns. They were very curious, and rather scary, so we left .When we returned home, we had two new additions to the family, sheep, all painted in Pink for "Eid". The big holiday is coming soon. There was also a couple of camels parked across the street.

The women work harder than American women need to, to keep a house. It is much dustier here and houses are filled with people. Since Azim's family are middle to higher class in this area, they have hired help come here every day to do the floors. Azim has sent money each month from the US so they can maintain that same lifestyle since his Uncle's death. The lady who does the floors has been with the family for a long time. She makes $5.00 a month. She uses a broom which is actually a pack of straw tied upon one end, and bound as a handle. She squats on her haunches and walks the entire floor that way to sweep up the dirt. She then repeats the process with a wet rag and washes the floor too. This house is very big with two floors, so it takes her a long time. She appears to be an old woman. It is difficult to tell her age. The washing machine only washes, no spin cycle. The process of laundry begins with the whites. When they are done, they go into a bucket of rinse water on the floor. Colors go in the machine in the same water. The clothes are wrung out by hand and hung on the line. All undergarments are covered on the line by placing outer wear and towels over them to dry. The process repeats with rinsing the colors in the same bucket, while darks go in to wash last. Water shortages are apparent as well as electricity I guess. They don't have a stove with an oven, everything is cooked on small gas burners. The kitchen is small. Preparation, chopping, peeling etc. of food is done by sitting or squatting on the floor. Everything is bought fresh daily. Spices, herbs, chick peas on the vine, vegetables and such. Meat is bought fresh all the time. There is a freezer but not much is in there, The refrigerator looks like it hasn't worked in a long time, but I'm not sure it's really needed anyway. All day there are people walking the streets selling food stuff. When you hear them calling out, just open the gate and negotiate the price. Sometimes the women eat on the floor in the kitchen. Azim and I almost always eat alone at the table. Everyone eats wherever they want. Shamim cooks for us because Azim told her not to make the foods too spicy, the way they all eat it. Plus we need to be careful that we don't get too much foreign bacteria that will give us a bug. Every morning when I come down stairs, there on the table, is coffee and a couple of hard boiled eggs and some kind of fruit or biscuit the Hajji has brought for me, just served. Azim will sit with me and talk to his Aunt while I eat.

 

 

The picture above shows a food cart that comes around the neighborhoods. Chick peas are for sale on this cart. We get them often. Then you gotta pull them little peas off and open them up for the next two hours. Everyone of the girls, and sometimes the younger boys, join in to help out on the patio. They work together to collect them in a bowl for the evening meal. We went next door to Happy's house tonight to meet his wife and children and his parents. Like our house, this house is all marble inside, large rooms and beautifully decorated. His family was sitting on the marble floor with lots of food spread out like a picnic on a large cloth. I didn't see an eating table. I assumed all meals were eaten on the floor like this. Traditionally, everyone, eats with their hands. Personally I like my fork thank you. They use the Naan to scoop up the food. The food is highly spicy and everything is cooked on a stove top in a pot all together like stew. Sometime they fry meat pie type foods in a pan in oil or spiced ground lamb sausage looking things called kabobs. They do not eat pork in Muslim countries as a matter of religion. Pork is considered a low animal because the pig does nothing to protect its mate or offspring. Pork is forbidden in Islam. We enjoyed our visit to Happy's house.

Writing in my journal is a welcome time of the day for me. I get to reflect on all I saw and learned about my surroundings, and keep these thoughts for the future. Azim has been with a man in the living room talking a long time, about some family business. He just came up to check in with me and say "I love you." It amazes me how he lived in this kind of place, that is somewhat dark and cold in many ways. He has grown into the most caring man I've ever met. He just had such a loving family to make up the difference I guess. He always puts me first. I have so much respect for him as a person. Just watching him this past week, I feel so proud of the person he is. I feel so fortunate to have him in my life. This week we seem to have developed a deep appreciation for each other and all we have together. America seems so small for the first time to me. The rest of the world, now in my vision, seems like what is most normal. America is normal only in America. Living in the USA is a blessing in so many ways. It is really unique to the rest of the world. I can't imagine going to work and working beside 10 and 12 year old children. I can't imagine girls never leaving the house except for school, never going anywhere except in the company of their parents. I can't imagine living in a country where if you steal, no matter who you are, they cut off your hands as punishment. Imagine never getting married because you aren't allowed to meet or talk to men openly. Here the girls reach a certain age and their father, brothers or uncles will go out and talk to other men they know and make arrangements for their daughters to marry sons of others. The boy and girl will meet , with family around, and spend several hours together. The families will then ask if they would or would not like to get married. If they like the first impression of the other, the arrangements are made for the marriage. The families get together before the wedding and give gifts and money to the couple. They have many gatherings over the next few weeks to celebrate the marriage, see each others homes, and meet family. The weddings are quite special if the families are of sufficient wealth. They have special wedding clothing that the girls all wear on their special day, with pure 24 K gold jewelry to wear. In this area all gold is 22k or 24k not 14k as in the US. The threads on the wedding embroidered head scarf's are gold. The girls all have their noses pierced, so they have a nose ring with a gold chain attached that also drapes across their cheek as it attaches to the earring in their ear. There is a wedding going on in the neighborhood and outside the house they have decorated like Christmas with hundreds of tiny lights. The lights will be on for at least a month.

Monday, March 23rd

I looked out the window this morning and saw a man sleeping outside in front of the door on a cot next to the camel across the road. I was told that he raised the camel and sold it to our neighbor. He sleeps there to help calm the camel while it is getting used to its new home. He will stay there at night for the week. Today I spent most of the day playing with and enjoying the kids. We made game cards and played go fish, crazy eights, war, and concentration. We also played hangman using English words they knew. They don't seem to have much in the way of toys. I noticed that they are very creative in their play even without them. They do have one game. Pakistani Parcheesi. We play that a lot . The kids sang some of their school religion songs for me and really entertained me. I'm becoming very fond of this family. The kids are so nice. They are so respectful and well behaved. They never fail to ask to enter my room. They take off their shoes before doing so. They are very considerate and polite. I'm enjoying every minute with them. They are normal, they laugh and tease each other, and me. I never hear them argue with each other. They share well, but they cheat at cards. The funny thing is, when they do, the others just say "no cheating" in English. They learned that, as well as a lot of other English words from me. They never get mad or pout, its amazing to me to see their behaviors, they act like adults in so many ways. They are grown up children.

Tuesday March 24th

Azim took off with his buddies very early this morning to have breakfast. He was back before I got up. After breakfast the uncles and aunts went out to the rotary circle park because they found out someone in the neighborhood had died. It was explained to me that when a person dies they carry his body out by hand in a big flat basket, or just held over their heads, to a public place where all who see or hear, can come to comfort and pray with the family and say goodbye. He will then be carried home and taken shortly straight to the grave all in a 24 hour period from the time they died. The body never leaves the family from death to grave. The family washes and dresses their loved one for burial. Azim went to a funeral in the states with me and now I understand his question about my cousin staying in the funeral home for days by "himself." He couldn't understand the way we processed death here.

All I can see from the roof these days are different types of animals. Goats and sheep take little boys for daily walks and the sounds of animals fill the air. Today we went to a lawyer with Uncle Ilyas. The plan is to see if we could adopt Danish, his 12-year-old son. Azim has been supporting this family as much as possible, but needs to help them to help themselves. The main problem in getting Danish here is that I'm not Muslim. This could make it difficult or impossible. If Danish can come to America he can get educated and support is parents, and four siblings. Work is not easy to find here in this country and things are worse than before, so Azim is really the only one who can make them better. He is very close to them and I can certainly understand that. The lawyer is in line to be the next consulate general of Pakistan. He is a very well educated man and I enjoyed speaking with him. He seemed very willing to help and all would be done for minimal cost. He has invited us to his home for dinner before we leave but Azim just thanked him and told him we are too busy with family. On the way back from the Lawyer we stopped at the grave sight of Azim's father and grandmother. Then we went inside the Old City to visit a family friend. The streets are so narrow. I thought they were for walking only, but no!! People turn sideways and paste themselves against the stone walls to let the cars pass. There was a motorcycle parked in front of a shop and we had to stop to move it so we could get by. Later Uncle Ilyas took 15 of us packed into a small van, out for ice cream. It wasn't fun. Besides being crowded in the van, the place we went to was overcrowded with people. People were staring in the windows of the car where we had to eat our treats and they were begging us for money the whole while we ate. We couldn't back the car out easily because the crowds were unforgiving and wouldn't move. Men and boys tried to wipe off the car and windows in hopes of getting money. Little girls and women were banging on the windows and putting trinkets up to the glass in hopes of selling them to us. I was happy to leave. I never saw Azim so uptight as I see him in public here in this country. Part of it is because he worries more with me here. I see where he gets his strength, you need to be strong for your family in this country. Everywhere people try to sell things, I saw this man walking the streets in our neighborhood with his monkey. He was receiving money from people watching the monkey perform. I went outside the gate to watch. All the boys came out to stand around me and say hello. Later I went out again later as some neighbor boys were playing with baby chicks and I held them, while the boys tried to get close to me to laugh and try to speak any word they knew in English. Azim feels uncomfortable when I am outside the gate and tells me when he can no longer tolerate these feelings and says something to gently persuade me back inside.

Wednesday March 24th

Today Nurin and Zain returned from Karachi by train. The train was five ½ hours late, I found that when I asked what time the train arrived, the answer was "when it gets here," and that was normal. It's best to go at the expected time and wait because you'll never be told when the train will arrive. I was out in the fresh air a lot today. From the roof I saw a milk cart, I think before the 1950's in the US, milk used to be delivered in those big cans. It is brought to the neighborhoods by that method here today on carts drawn by donkeys. A man carrying a small Ferris wheel is giving rides to kids for a few rupees. There are ice cream carts, sheep, goats, the man with the monkey, and a man driving a donkey cart begging by microphone, with his family in tow. All passers-by today. Any way they can make a living I guess. I visited with Nurin and some of the girls brought friends from school, to meet me on their way home. I still meet guests here in the house nearly every day. I must be the talk of the town. The kids must enjoy telling their school friends about me and my staying with them for a few weeks. I can just imagine them all wanting to come to take a look at me and meet me. They all know the words hello and goodbye. In between there are lots of giggles from the girls. I try to encourage them to speak any English they know, but they are shy and unsure of their actually speaking the English words that must feel strange for them to use. I certainly get noticed. I have my roof friends greet me in the evenings to wave over and over. When one person sees me on the roof, there is certain to be a crowd up there shortly after. They will all be waving and shouting hello in English at me each time I am spotted. Then a short time later the door buzzer rings as they come for a closer look. Khuram took me for a motorcycle ride in the neighborhood this afternoon. I seem to get a lot of privileges most women don't get here. I wanted to ride the motorcycle like a normal person but it's a sin to ride anyway but "sidesaddle". Whenever I go out, I have to wear the Dupata on my head. It makes less of a distraction for me anyway. Occasionally I want to get defiant cuz I miss my freedom, but I'm really ok for three weeks of someone telling me everything I must do for my own good I suppose. I sent for mayonnaise, ketchup and vinegar at a nearby market and created my own salad dressing. Khuram got me some lettuce, and I shared salad with him. He liked it, and it was a new taste for him. All vegetables are eaten cooked with something else, rather than alone or raw. I drink a lot of Pepsi because it is safer than water. The water I do drink is boiled first and bottled in left over Pepsi bottles with caps for me. About three PM , Azim took me for a long walk with Sedaquat and Basit, his friends. We went to a school where Sedaquats friend works, and to my joy, I got to e-mail home. It felt so good to me to let everyone know I'm ok and safe here. I knew how upset and worried everyone was. If they could see me and how I'm living in this protective environment they wouldn't be so fearful. I'm never alone. This part of the world makes everyone scared I quess, and it is fear of the unknown. It is so far away and people only hear the bad things. Life here is normal for them, so I need to think all is normal for me here.

Thursday, March 25th

I finally got to do some sightseeing today. We went to the Fort of Lahore and this beautiful Mosque just outside the old city gates.

 

The Mosque is huge. You must not enter with shoes on. Inside this section it is all marble and carved stone. One area is filled with oriental carpets for praying. Behind me as I took this picture, is the museum area. It has artifacts from the prophet Mohammed. 120,000 people will be here in a few days to pray. It is Haj and Eid. Haj will be shown on CNN NEWS. It is the time when many Muslims go to MECCA in Saudi Arabia. They are supposed to make the journey to Mecca at least once in their lifetime. Each Muslim uses the name Mohammed as their first name. If they have been to Mecca for Haj, they use Hajji Mohammed then their given or last name.

 

I am standing in the door way to the kings court in the fort of Lahore where he lived and ruled. Behind me are mirrors still there from the 15th century. Jewels were set in the carved stonework around the mirrors, but are long gone. A man approached us and gave us a tour of the fort. Elephants climbed huge stairs to a stage to entertain. There was a bath area for the kings wives. They are allowed four wives I hear. The room of swords and weapons was fascinating. There was a prison down underground. The fort overlooks the Old city that was all there was to Lahore back then. The city is very large now, but the old city area is an extremely active part of Lahore. After the tour of the Fort and Mosque, we walked a short distance into the Old City itself. It was really interesting to be in there and see the old stone buildings that have been here forever. The people stopped whatever they were doing to watch us as we walked by. Shamim lives here inside Bhatti Gate. She is here today with Rabia and Umer for their "results" day at school. This an award thing and they are both first place awards in their respective classes. When we arrived at the house, we walked up 4 flights of steep stairs to the top level where the kitchen and dining areas are. There is a stack of three metal tureen type pots, by the burner containing oil, real home made butter, and home made yogurt. The area is open to the sky with big openings with no windows, but it does have an overhanging roof. The sink is a bucket on the floor and a hose. The dishes are in a basket on the floor. The dining room is big. there is no table, just the floor. Hajji is home. We decided to go to the school to meet Shamim and the kids and to see how long they would be. When I walked into this crowded room filled with parents and school administrators, I wasn't prepared for the commotion I would cause. I swiftly became the official American guest. They put a lei of flowers on me. They asked me to give the awards to the children. I even got to give first prize to Umer. The principal asked me to speak. What could I say? I just said Thank you for such a nice welcome and told them how much I have enjoyed being a quest in their country. I wished them all happiness, and made a quick exit. After the ceremony we looked at their classrooms and met their teachers.

We went back Shamim and Hajji's after school to have ice-cream and hung out for a while on one of the lower levels where the living/bedroom area is to chat awhile. Shamim made us some food and we ate it on the floor in the dining room. Then we walked up the street to catch a ride back to the house in Shad Bagh the area of Lahore where we stay. Happy took us out tonight. We went to Shalimar Garden with Basit, Happy, and Khuram. This garden was made for the Queen as a bath and garden by the King of Lahore near the Fort where we visited yesterday. There are acres of plants and fountains . there are walls of stone and marble. It was beautiful. Basit is in the picture below in the white Chalwar Cameez, Happy in the black one with shoes made from real gold .

 

Another privilege I got tonight was to eat out with these guys in a restaurant of sorts. It looked like a garage with a fire pit outside. The table was right on the street a few feet from the car. We shared 150 Kabobs, some Naan, and Pepsi. It was fun. After eating went to the Pearl Continental, a big four star International hotel. Khuram loved the elevator and the Pool. He hadn't been there before and was fascinated by it. We were originally going to stay at this hotel but decided to stay with the family after I convinced Azim that that was where I wanted to stay.

Friday, March 26th

Azim's friend Shahid came by and I got to feel normal again, by speaking English. I don't speak very often here except in a type of sign language with a few nouns here and there. I name objects in English to the family to communicate my needs. I speak English to the kids more often as they understand a lot more than the adults. Right now I would kill for a nice steak or chicken dinner with mashed potatoes and a crisp veggie. I am starting to miss American food big time. The Girls and I go for a walk nearly every night. They only go out at night, it's not as crowded. Shamim feels the need to go with us. As a foreigner I am not equal to her outside. I don't think she really wants to, but the girls don't get to go out much. Now that I am here and Shamim is living here for these three weeks too, they beg her to go out at night with me. Their mother does not go out very often, and never takes them out. It is a real adventure for them and me too now. The girls are stepping over each other to hold my hands on both sides as we walk. They are protective of me and also proud to be seen with me by their neighbors. We go to a little park nearby and walk around it then to a swing set and slide so they can play. There is usually the 5 teen age girls with Shamim and I, and sometimes Umer and the younger Rabia his sister will come. We are gone for about an hour. I talk a lot to the girls and they try their best to speak in the best English they dare to speak without embarrassment. I played games with the younger kids awhile after my walk. I am not sleeping really well some nights. The week is gone. One more to go. This brings week two to a close.

You may click the link below to continue. It will take you to week three, the last chapter.

WEEK THREE